Hey Jill!

Funny I bumped into your post. I actually came out of a pretty similar situation about 7 months ago, except the roles were reversed! I was the A-hole and he was the hard worker. Of course we had our differences, and we argued beyond my laziness.. but I can tell you that change is the inevitable. Coming from his perspective, it feels comfortable to be in that state. Always talking about change and improvement, but never really does anything about it. It feels scary to change as a person, especially when you have a lot of fear inside. Our mind is programmed to routine, then routine becomes habit, therefor change is extremely uncomfortable. You also can’t make someone change, they have to WANT to change. It sounds to me that you are settling and so is he. You could make things work with him, but he has to realize his own flaws as a person and actively try to work on them everyday. Otherwise nothing will happen and things will be the same. In life we always grow, and life is pulling you in a different direction. You’re growing but he’s not. So what do you do right? You do the best thing for you. Please choose yourself first, because there’s someone out there who can really appreciate you for YOU.