Dear Lost Soul:

You are welcome. Yes, he was/ is an honorable man.

“I wasn’t a great judge of people, let alone therapists… even now, unless here are glaring red flags, it takes me at least a few sessions to figure out if a therapist will work for me”- not only wasn’t I a great judge of people, I was no judge at all. When we grow up with parents who … exhibit “glaring red flags”, as children we are not emotionally equipped to remain aware that our parents, our alleged protectors, who we need to be all good and all capable.. are not. So we close our eyes (shut our awareness) to those glaring red flags. Eyes closed, we don’t see those glaring red flags if anyone.

Except when a person significantly tops the red flags our parents exhibited. If a person hits us and we bleed and that didn’t happen before, we notice: oh, this is bad. But if a person disrespects us, we don’t notice, or if he puts us down, it doesn’t feel right but.. we are not sure.

I used “we” and “us” above, but is it true to you, what I wrote?

anita