Dear VLC90:

“that horrible detrimental feeling ..which I am familiar with from all of my other relationships” that caused you to remember your ex-boyfriend so fondly and question your relationship with your current boyfriend is probably the same detrimental feeling you had growing up, taking on a lot of your mother’s emotions, constantly worrying about your father, looking for his attention but not getting it and experiencing that “sense of hostility” with your mother.

You wrote that you “cannot fully understand” that hostility. Do you want to? If you do, could it be (I am guessing) that you were angry at the way your mother treated your father?

anita