Dear Sheshe:

* “My childhood is similar to Anita’s. Neglectful parents with molestation by an uncle”- you made a mistake there, I wasn’t molested by an uncle and never referred to “Neglectful parents” in my shares here, over the years. But I do understand that your childhood consisted of neglectful parents and a molestation by an uncle.

You’ve been in a year long relationship with a man you think of as a “social butterfly”.

“we didn’t go  out much.. we only met at my place.. I’m never invited to meet his friends”. He booked time off for the summer to spend time with his friends and family but did not make you part of those plans and he did not make plans to spend time with you this summer.

You let him know how unhappy you are with this, and he “admitted that he was still behaving like he was a single man and that it was wrong”. He told you that he will no longer “keep me in a separate box”. After that you found out that a woman friend messaged him to meet up, “yet he did not inform me in the spirit of disclosure”, and another fight took place. Next, he organized a few trips with you and took you to meet a few of his work friends. But he didn’t greet you warmly or embraced you in front of his work friends so another fight took place, “Me shouting and him unresponsive”. Following that, he took a break from the relationship, saying he is questioning it and will meet you in a week to “let me know what he decides”.

Question: am I understanding correctly that for one year the two of you met only at your place, didn’t go on dates, you didn’t go to his place, did not meet his friends or family and he didn’t meet yours, but you weren’t bothered by this much. After a year you started wondering why it is that you only met at your place, etc. And after a year you got angry at him for the first time?

anita