Dear  Aster:

I can read your heartache, your frustration, your distress and you shouldn’t keep living like this.

Notice this: “I confronted him, and he burst out crying… One of the times he slept with her was after I wanted out and he begged me to stay… he can’t quit crying. When I told him I wanted him out, he got on his knees and grabbed my legs and sobbed… He’s been in my office sobbing several times… She (his ex wife) told me that’s just what they do (separate), but always find their way back to each other”-

He cries too much in front of you. I don’t believe in “big boys don’t cry” but he cries too much for the purpose of you seeing him cry. It is a manipulative kind of crying. The begging you to stay, what is that about, why is he begging; what does it mean that he is begging, vs asking? Crying and sobbing and begging… with her too, with his ex wife, every time they “find their way back to each other”, I imagine.

No wonder you lost respect for him and yet, it is hard for you to give up the hope, the good times. But now, as you look back at the good times, you can see that those times were not what you thought they were because there was no honorable, honest man behind those good times.

Better have him leave tonight. I suggest you ask the police to arrive at your place for the purpose of being present as he packs his things quickly and leave peacefully, to ensure his peaceful, drama free departure.  Do it ASAP.

With the police present, he is not likely to cry and sob and grab your knees and beg. He will probably pack quickly and leave quietly.

When and if you decide to follow my advice, please let me know how it went. If you don’t follow my advice, post anyway. (I will soon be away from the computer for about nine hours).

anita