Dear Lost Soul:

It is a good thing to be rid  of an intestinal parasite, welcome back to your thread!

“She basically said something along the lines of, or course you can choose to do it (therapy), but I’m not sure it’s a good choice for you at this time”-

– of course therapy is a good choice for you at this time, after all “Messed up” is the title of your thread and in your very post here you wrote that you called suicide lines, not because you were considering suicide but because you are so miserable. Of course you need therapy. Maybe not  with her if she is not up to it. Maybe she made that comment trying to lead you  into you coming up with the objectives of your therapy, being specific about what you want to work on, and convince her in a way, next time, that you indeed have specific goals.

In your second session ask her what she meant by her comment. What you need from a therapist is honesty and transparency, nothing mysterious or hidden or vague.

anita