Ok ladies, I don’t consider this a relapse but it’s definitely a situation I’m unclear on how to handle.

My husband and I agreed that we’re no longer attending the couples dinners, so we’ve skipped the last two. The couple we are still friends with is aware. The 2nd dinner we declined was yesterday, and today I received a text from the woman whose separation information I shared. She said she’s sorry we decided not to participate anymore and would I like to meet with her to have a fresh start. The answer to this no. A face to face is out of the question for coffee, for drinks…no. This feels like a “fool me once” situation.

It’s been four months…I’ve experienced extreme distress, sadness, disappointment, anger…my body processed the stress in such a physically damaging way. I’m finally moving forward. I don’t think we could ever be friends again- there’s no trust. But do I owe her a response? Do I owe her anything? What’s the gracious move here?

Brandy, once you said relational aggression, it clicked for me. My role, their role, the whole toxic dynamic. And it’s true, the people I love the most, they don’t have a group. One misstep and I was ousted. I refuse to put myself anywhere near that situation again.

And once her text message popped I felt a rush of anxiety and my heart started racing. I acknowledged the feeling and I’m working on letting it go.

What should I do? How do I respond?