Dear Ash;

Reads like you are making a big deal  out of nothing: no one is accurate at all times. I used to demand such accuracy, comparing what a person said before with what he said later, and if the fit was not perfect, I was distressed, thinking the person was lying to me.

I learned that even I am not accurate. Our memories change over time, and if he was drinking, my goodness- thinking that fails to be perfectly accurate and consistent while sober, often is even less accurate and consistent when drinking.

To elaborate further: no one is 100% honest 100% of the time. Not even you. So the first time he told you the story.. he didn’t feel like thinking deeper into the story or he didn’t feel like telling you the whole truth.

When someone asks me: how are you? I am far from being 100% honest answering this question. I will not give a person a five minute answer with all that bothers me, including aches and pains. Usually, I will say “fine, thank you”, which means: I am still alive, thank you. Or it means: I don’t feel like telling you, nor do I owe you a confession of my state of mind and heart. (Nor do I think the person asking really wants a thorough detailed answer).

So, let’s say I answered: fine, thank you. And later the person who asked notices I am limping and says: what happened? And I say: I twisted my foot an hour ago and it hurts since. So the person says next: but I asked you half an hour ago how you are doing and you said fine! Why did you lie to me?

– and I may truthfully so: I didn’t think it was that bad at the time. I thought the pain will go away soon, so I told you I was fine.

Am I getting carried away with my answer to you or am I making some sense to you?

anita