Dear Joe:

If your friend was indeed rude to her and refused to apologize to her, then when he invited you to a party you should not have replied “maybe” but instead, you should have communicated to him that there would be no hanging out until he apologized to her. That was your mistake.

Problem is, you apologized to her and did an excellent job apologizing: you expressed regret and you were very honest in it. You specified to her your mistake very accurately: “I should have told him again that there would be no hanging out until he apologized to  you”.

You wrote to her: “I understand why you fee betrayed. And you’re right, I was less than trustable and I apologize. But I can be better”- a perfect apology.

And yet, she was not touched by it, “She didn’t respond”- this is The Problem: when she is suspicious (as she often is), she is heartless. To not respond and to never acknowledge such a heartful apology for so long is heartless.

“I do want to fix things”- I don’t think you can fix heartless. I am guessing that a healthy, loving relationship for her is impossible with anyone because she is very likely to get suspicious with everyone, look for evidence.. and find it. If she finally does forgive you for that one mistake you made (and apologized for honestly and perfectly), she will find something else. And then, heartless again, is what I figure.

anita