Dear Joe:

Your mistake was small and you apologized thoroughly, did an excellent job apologizing. On the other hand, she shouldn’t have checked your phone, spying on you.

You wrote: “I asked her why she went through my phone. I never gave her any reason to not trust me. She said she did it because I said I had nothing to hide”-

– she said she did it because you said you had nothing to hide, so she wanted to check and see if you were lying and had something to hide. She didn’t say that she shouldn’t have invaded your privacy, betraying your trust in her (!), she didn’t apologize for that, did she.

Her behavior means that if you were to resume a relationship with her, you would have to accept that your phone is not your private belonging and that all your communications with other people,  on your phone, are subject to her examination, evaluation and judgments anytime she can.

Not a good prospect, is it- to live like that- always under suspicion.

anita