Hi all,

Sorry I forgot to add some info on why I always refrain myself from telling him how I feel. Long story short, he was growing up from a family that’s very far from ideal. He kinda doesn’t understand why people should or would marry. In our early friendship, he even told me that he doesn’t want to pursue marriage. But he wants a girlfriend, someone who would always be there for him and vice versa, without any marriage bond. I have no idea if he still has these thoughts or not. Tbh, I’m confused, because other times he told me he was so sure none would want him to be their spouse, thus he wanted to live single life.

Second, he’s kind of putting me in a high pedestal. He always says that he doesn’t deserve me as his best friend, that he’s a bad person and I’m a good one, that he feels bad in wasting my time on him. Everytime I mentioned good things about him, he didn’t believe me, saying I did that to cheer him up. Yes, he kind of has constant mild depression. I asked him to go seek professional help many times but he always refused, saying at least he looks fine from the outside.

So yeah, that’s why I haven’t told him how I feel all this time. He must feel bad dragging me into loving him, or even worst, he won’t believe what I say. I’m so very much confused :'(

Thx for reading!

V