Dear Vesper:

You are welcome.

“we can’t control our emotions… Usually we ended our arguments by letting each other calm down”-

– key is to calm down before arguing and fighting. When discussing something, and you feel  your emotions become intense, if you feel that you cannot proceed calmly, end the conversation and continue later, maybe over email where it is easier to control one’s behavior. On the phone, you may find your voice louder, maybe yelling. Online, unless you use capital letters, no  one can .. hear you yell.

There are books and workbooks in libraries, book stores and online regarding interpersonal skills/ effective communication that provide tools and strategies on the matter.

What arguing and fighting does, that is, aggression- it turns people off, make them withdraw and this is what may have happened here, likely, I am thinking.

If he withdrew from you because of the aggression, and if you are to communicate with him again, best that you attend to this matter first, to see to it that the two of you can communicate with no aggression in the future.

anita