Dear Vesper:

I am listening to vespers Mass by Rachmaninoff as I type this. It is late morning here but the sun didn’t come  out yet. The sky is very grey, no sign of a sun. I see trees, a tiny bit of breeze outside. The music fits the view perfectly.

Your daughter at 21 felt comfortable enough to leave home,  to make the break she wanted to make. Later, after reconnecting, she felt comfortable asking you to give her space.

It makes me think of all the adult children feeling trapped with their parents, feeling too guilty to leave, to scared to ask for space, never making the break into real independent living.

“I feel guilty that so much of my time and focus was everywhere else except on my daughter”-

– but isn’t it wonderful for her, isn’t she fortunate, that she didn’t feel too guilty to do what she wanted to do, and to ask for space she needs to continue to do what she wants to do, where, when and with whom?

I know guilt too well, it robbed me of choosing a life for myself for decades. It is nice to read about a 21 year old, only three years out  of childhood, feeling free enough from guilt to leave, without even saying goodbye.

Congratulations for raising a guilt-free child, one free enough to choose her own life- a job well done.

anita