Dear Anita,

I’m so happy you are enjoying the music. It sounds like you have the perfect weather for it.

Thank you for your response. I needed a different perspective. I have only been able to see my own perceived failure as a parent, thinking she would not have gone if I’d been a better mom, and that my family is forever altered. Broken.

Shortly after she left, I said to her, “Do you have any idea what it was like for me to get that text from you?” and she said, “No. I can’t imagine, but right now I have to do what’s right for me.” At the time it sounded so selfish, but in reexamining it through the lens you have offered me, perhaps her words show a gutsy determination to be independent.

I visited her a few weeks ago and she told me the one thing she wanted from my husband and I was for us to have faith in her. I told her I would try, but I think my actions have shown her just the opposite. Yesterday I sent her a text to say I was sorry. She hasn’t responded.

I’m trying to have faith that she will reach out when she’s ready, and in the meantime, refocus my energy on what I want the next chapter of my life to look like. I want to be done grieving. I want to be able to walk through the store and see a cute Halloween decoration and not tear up thinking, ‘she would have loved that.’ That happened yesterday. My husband said, “Why don’t you buy it just because YOU like it, even if she’s not here to share it with?” I thought, ‘now why didn’t I think of that?’ 🙂

Thank you again for your response.