Dear PikeMan:

Humans are emotional animals, what drives us is emotion, that energy-in-motion. But we also have logic available to us and that thing called values, such as trust, being worthy of our partner’s trust, being that safe place for  him (or her), where he doesn’t have to worry about an on-and-off spark. And there is the value of parenting a child one brought into the world, doing the right thing by that child.

Here is my current input regarding her off-spark: the more you try to reignite it in her, the less likely it is to be re-ignited. No use chasing it. Your recent efforts to help her, suggesting a date and so forth, that didn’t make a difference. Better not repeat what doesn’t work.

Consider moving to another room, in the same home with her, so to give her the physical space, her own bedroom. Do the opposite of chasing her- give her all the distance she can handle. Maybe in that distance, a spark will be born. I think this is your better bet. What do you think?

anita