Hi Anita and hi Jay Jay,

I have an update from this post. My husband requested sis in law to visit us separately due to past issues during her visit. The in laws still resisted and said “nothing will happen this time and that I should not worry etc.” At that moment, I went ahead and sent out an email to the entire family pointing out that it was inappropriate behavior on her part during last visit as she brought up delicate family issues in husband’s absence instead of addressing to him. After this, there was no response from anyone. But they went ahead and did what we asked. Accordingly , the in laws visited us for 50 days. They went and visited the sis in law at her home during the visit. So, all that went great.

But after that email, there has been zero communication between me and my sis in law. She had sent a gift for my baby through in laws. I did not acknowledge or thank her for it at the time. Recently, after the in laws left, I thought that I should at least  acknowledge and thank her for the gift. So, I texted her to say thank you and that we missed thanking her before as we had been so busy. She sent a short reply saying “no problem, love to kids”. Now, since sending out this text message I have been having some regret/ mixed feelings. I feel like I never received an apology from sis in law after pointing out her mistake in that email and that I should not have been the first one to message her after that or to extend the olive branch. Though I am not sure, if a mere act of thanking someone for a gift they send qualifies as an olive branch. I feel like I should have let her approach me / write to me first. I almost feel like by messaging her, I kind of conveyed that it is ok now and that I let it go, when in fact I am still upset and not over it. So, I feel like I lost every  opportunity to receive an apology from her. I feel upset over my own action and I can’t go back in time and undo that now. On the other hand, had I not thanked her for the gift, I would possibly think that it wasn’t nice of me to not thank her. Sometimes, I feel like the mind is a killer, no matter what we do it will find a way to upset you.

Do you think I am right in my thinking? Or am I overthinking this? Is there anything I can do now to show my anger?

• This reply was modified 5 years ago by curiousknowledgeseeker.
• This reply was modified 5 years ago by curiousknowledgeseeker.