I have some resistance to label her as abusive, in parts because I want to believe she is a good person. Not a manipulative, machiavelic woman. However, Im open to see things from other perspective so I’m considering it now that you brought it up.

I once brought up the fact that was too criticizing of me and she apologized, saying she does this to herself so she tends to be quick to do it to others. But now I’m wondering if she does this out of spite because I still struggle to remember a time when she did this to other friends.

I believe no family is perfect and my parents have made mistakes but I still think they’re loving. When I was a teen my brother started to bring troubles and I felt it was my obligation to bring my parents joy, so I tried to meet all their expectations and compensate for my brother’s flaws. It was a rough time but we all survived, he has been rebuilding his life and my parents always show appreciation for me to be supportive during those days. I also had a tragic event during this time, where I lost my best friend at the time in an accident, and I was the one who had to call the ambulance and go to the hospital but she didn’t make it. It was the first time I got in touch with death, with how life is perishable…first time I questioned if things were fair, if destiny/fate were a thing. I don’t recall how I coped with this, which mean I probably didn’t.

My therapist thinks that this period of my teenager years, that I was building my character, was critical to develop a sense of “rescuer”. So you’re right about the reasons for me to stay in touch with her, I feel like I would be neglecting her. She doesn’t have a functional family so I would feel guilty if I failed to answer her calls/texts because she wouldn’t have anyone to call.

I don’t know how other people deal with friendships so I was taking into account the only input I always I had, that it was hers. This is not the first time she says something similar so I had moments in the past where I did try to invest in friendships and I saw myself hanging out with people that didn’t have anything to do with me. That didn’t add anything positive to my days and I felt like I wasn’t being myself. Sometimes I feel like Im a little naive to realize people’s true intentions and other times I think I’m arrogant to think that people are envious of my life.

I’m not the type of person that considers friends an extension of my family – with the exception of this friend we’re talking about. I don’t necessarily feel lonely because I know I can count on my family and even my boyfriend so I would probably not even think about it if she didnt bring it up. Bottom line is that I started to question myself and wondering if Im on the wrong side. If people really should invest in friendships, in bringing them closer to their personal life and mantaining them for years.