Dear curiousknowledgeseeker:

It is a possibility, to get divorced and live separately from your husband, and have no contact with his family. He may take your children to visit his family, when they are in town, but you will not meet them. But then, the children will tell you about those visits and you might get angry. So in a way, you are stuck. Better that you stop entertaining thoughts of breaking free from his family, and instead limit contacts, make thoughtful choices as to when, where and how.

It reminds me of a little story I heard long ago that left a strong impression on me, it was very short and went something like this: a prisoner was asked, how can you break free, and the prisoner answered: by not wanting to break free anymore. By no longer wanting to break free from your husband’s family.. you will break free, is the message.

And then, psychotherapy, or counseling for you may help you, maybe with a therapist from the home country who understands very well the many and frequent conflicts so common in traditional extended families: husband, wife, their children, and his parents.

anita