1. I do have a fear of his anger, I’ve also had other anger which I’ve had directed at me from other sources as well growing up. Just this time. I had literally had it, my wife had just left me and my Dad had betrayed what I feel are pretty easy principles to keep to. I was telling my therapist before I went down to see them that It could easily go either way and she told me to have a plan in place in-case he got aggressive. My grandmother was also visiting at the time and was present which also probably curtailed his normal reactions.

I didn’t scold him like a child I told him how I was feeling and what I felt led up to the events. I know in comparison to not speaking up for myself I guess that seems like I’m reversing the roles. What would have been my alternative. Just let it go and just be like’ Oh it doesn’t matter that you cheated on your wife, there there.’

2. Why would I not empathize with my Mother. I said to both of them that they have no idea on how to communicate with each other, never have. That my Mum has a victim complex due to her childhood and that he has issues with dealing with women due to how he inherited his Father’s world outlook. I know that there are two sides to it, but what you suggesting is nearly victim blaming no? Like oh my Mother must have done something to drive him to do it. Does he not have responsibility for his actions in it? She also didn’t belittle him and was the one trying to keep it all together, she forgave him enough to go to counseling which he didn’t want to put the effort into.

I don’t know how to feel about it. There’s probably a way this goes with all the millions of people this happens to. I just feel like I’m not getting any of this across.

May I ask your experience in terms of psychology/counseling?