Dear Nekoshema:

Welcome back, good to read from you again. I am not focused well enough this evening, but I have a comment on just one point: evaluating your friend yourself and trusting your evaluation vs. trusting other people’s evaluation of your friend. You wrote: “every single friend has met him.. a total of 9 friends plus my fiancé.. they all say I’m repeating the same pattern as my gaslighting ex. Should I leave.. run away?”

March 2015, four years and nine months ago, you wrote: “I am also shy, so as a result people take a look at me and think I’m scary. Everyone also thinks I’m  miserable .. but I’m not. At least I don’t think I am. Over the years I’ve begun to question if I’m really happy since everyone says I’m not”.

I see a possible theme here, caring too much about what other people think and say, instead of relying on what you think.

Like I wrote, I am not too focused this afternoon, but I wanted to reply to you anyway before I turn off my computer for the night. When I am back, in about 14 hours, maybe I will read from you, and maybe you will let me know if there is any validity to my point here. We can then communicate further on the topic of your friend.

anita