Dear Oonagh:

You have talent in putting your story into words.

I think that it is best for you and for your children that you and your now estranged husband no longer live in the same house. The two of you should have separate residences because it has been too painful for you to live with him while he dates:

-“I just need this pain to stop so I can start functioning again”- your children need a mother who functions well.

-“.. heal the damage done to my body from the sheer stress impact”- your children need a healthy mother. And it is your responsibility to yourself as well, to be as healthy as you can possibly be.

It is quite cruel for a man to witness the mother of his three children suffer like this. For as long as he lives with you in the same house, he shouldn’t be dating. If he wants to date, he should get his own place (while still financially supporting his three children).

I feel sad for your suffering and hope the new year is a better year for you, a year of separate living from your estranged husband (now a roommate), healing and recovering.

anita