Hi Valora,

Thank you too for your reply.

Yes, I understand how he feels, how conflicting his emotions are . I understand the turmoil that has been going on inside of him and now my mind is clear I can see so much better and I have been patient when he’s pushed me away and pulled me back because I understand as I have been there .

I am ashamed to put someone in the position I was in . It was destructive and unhealthy and maybe I dug my own grave in making him turn to someone else .

Then he is a grown man, responsible for his decisions and should I blame myself ? I asked for honesty. I said I know things haven’t been great and if he’s seeing or talking to someone just please tell me . He’d get angry say I don’t trust him and that I was questioning his integrity . If I assumed he’d say he hate my assumptions, if I asked questions he’d say he hates my thousand questions.

I hurt .

Lola