We met and it did not go well.  He was still so prickly and angry.  I felt sick to my stomach and so anxious the whole time… The idea of reconciling and repeating the cycle again was unbearable to me.  It’s over but I’m still so sad. I still miss him.  It’s so weird being torn between two opposite feelings.  I knew we could have got back together and things would have been good for a short while.  He’d be sweet and attentive and our relationship would be like I always wanted it to be.  But it always sours for some reason.  He gets bored? He’s has anger issues? He starts picking fights over little things that make no sense.

He told me he loved me and wanted to continue working on this.. I told him I couldn’t.  Not only did he not trust me for his own reasons but I didn’t trust him after being lied to and cheated on by him 3 times…. He’s furious.  He wants me to return the phone he bought me after our last big fight… It’s the only phone I have…Also it’s the only gift he ever gave me in our entire relationship.  He says he’s burning/trashing all gifts or items that remind him of me.  I’m just getting a slew of angry texts messages here.  He’s blocking me…. He’ll have a new and ‘better’ girlfriend by tomorrow.

How do you heal from this?