Anita,

I told him many times that I didn’t feel secure in his feelings for me during our relationship because of the way he treated me…. He knew what I needed to feel loved but could only provide it for short periods of time and it always followed a big fight.  The only times he would tell me he loved me was when I was about to give up.  He would make an effort to plan dates or things for us to do and be open to my suggestions of things we could do together for a few weeks after another fight.  He’d be attentive and seemed genuinely interested in ‘me’ and we’d even discuss future plans.   But he’d always fall back into this pattern…He’d become distant and uncommunicative.  If I tried to talk to him about it he’d say he was just tired and busy from work or he’d tell me I was being insecure and needed to just focus on and worry about myself.. He’d also become more demanding…like if he knew I was off one day and he was working he’d call to ask me to bring him lunch or something to drink or a different pair of shoes from home.  He’d expect me to drop whatever I was doing to do this right away.  If I didn’t answer the phone he’d be furious.  I could always sense when he’d be starting another fight soon but I never knew what I was going to do to trigger it this time.