Dear Anonymous:

You are welcome. I am glad to read that you are doing well, that the relationship with the boyfriend at the time ended, that you didn’t move in with him, and that you are not living with your mother.

“I’m struggling with is the pain from feeling rejected and like I’m not good enough to date. If I was good enough, he would want to date me”-

– He “only had one real relationship and his last gf was toxic”, so he never had a monogamous relationship with a woman who was “good enough to date”.

What makes him then authority of what woman is good enough to date when his only relationship was with a woman who was toxic?

So he is not an indicator of you being not good enough to date, he is not qualified to make this evaluation of you.

“Why wasn’t he just honest from the start?”-  because it wasn’t comfortable for him, because it served him better not to, I am guessing, because this is why people are dishonest in the context of relationships most of the time.

“why wouldn’t he want to date me if he likes me enough to be try and be friends and also is attracted to me?”- a lot of the time the answer to why a man, in certain cultures, more than others, likes a woman, is attracted to her, and yet will not date her is because he doesn’t have to. Meaning, if a man can have sex with a woman without dating her, it saves him money and the time and effort of courtship, and the money, time and effort of a whole relationship. It is convenient.

Does this make sense to you?

anita