Dear Anonymous,

I found this article helpful while I was having some doubts about the relations I had with men. I am from a different culture, so I am not sure but maybe you’ll find it helpful too.

https://qz.com/685852/hookup-culture/

(It says: Engaging in hookup culture while craving love and stability was perhaps the least feminist action we could take.)

At the time I felt like I needed to look cool and look not that interested with the man I was having sex with.  Because I thought that was what a strong, independent women would do:) I turned a blind eye on the fact that I also needed a connection, attention and warmth from him or from anyone really.

By the way I also think it is completely OK to change your mind on the course of the relationship. Maybe you just wanted a hook up in the beginning but later you started to care about him, or your expectations have changed by time. There is nothing wrong with it. You need to think about what you really need, instead of analyzing his needs.