Hello Anita,

Were you, or are you currently a therapist? I ask because obviously you know a lot about psychology. And although my therapist who I saw last year did help me see my core belief is the “im not good enough” belief, she didn’t help me understand why or how that formed, and what to do about it. My sessions ran out, so I never followed up to dig deeper. But I have to say you’ve really helped me along and helped me realize quite a few things, thank you.

So you are saying, if I find peace in the fact that I couldn’t make that big of difference in my family life as a child, I will be at peace with the fact that I couldn’t make that big of difference in this mans life either? That does make sense to me, but much easier said than done of course.

As for the CBT exercise, not sure exactly what to write about but heres my interpretation:

Core belief: I’m not good enough, I need to be better/the best

Evidence in support of this: Didn’t have a lot of girlfriends growing up and didn’t love girly things as a child (felt like an outcast and awkward), didn’t have boyfriends in high school, the man who first introduced sex to me didn’t choose me over his gf, one guy i really liked didn’t talk to me again after I didn’t have sex with him (because I was nervous about it), don’t have THAT many friends–just a few good ones, this current guy doesn’t want to date me, I dont have the fake “plastic” look which a lot of guys seem to be attracted to, my last boyfriend needed to go online to email people he met about sexual meetups/fantasies rather than talk to me about them (though to be logical, he was struggling with a transgender fetish/sexual addiction which stemmed from his own early childhood experiences/abuse, but it still made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and proved I wasn’t good enough in my own mind)

Evidence against this belief: My family loves me, I have an amazing job as the rehab aide at a children’s hospital where I help kids learn how to walk and live again after traumatic accidents, I take really good care of my body and am in very good shape, I know how to cook healthy food and enjoy cooking, Im a talented artist, I am a talented and focused surfer and yogi, I’m a yoga teacher and enjoy holding space for those in need, I put myself through college without the help from my parents and am the first college grad of anyone in my family, Im financially independent and live on the beach, I’m extremely present and listen to people who are talking to me, I care about people and am very thoughtful, I’m super friendly and get along with almost everyone I meet, I have really pretty eyes and pretty/genuine smile, I’m smart, I have good style, I’ve been told Im very disarming and people trust me easily and quickly, I have a great sense of humor

Without hearing your feedback yet, I can clearly see a lot of the belief is evidenced in my mind by my relationships with men, sex, and dating.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by Anonymous.