Dear yohance:

Yes, there is such a thing as “being too open, honest and close with your spouse” if the spouse is using your openness against you from time to time, using what you shared with him (or her) so to prove to you that you are wrong and he is right.. all the time. It is always a bad idea to be close with someone who repeatedly hurts you, be it a spouse or anyone else.

Let’s say your spouse is an honest, decent and loving person, though imperfect (as we all are, imperfect), but you share with him too much, venting a whole lot so to relieve yourself from distress- that is a selfish behavior because it burdens him. We shouldn’t burden another with any and every thought and feeling that passes through our brain just because it does.

We need to be selective as to what we share and what we don’t, be honest throughout but avoid “confessing” to every thought and feeling we have.

Without any details in your original short post, this is the best I have as an answer, at this point. If you want to provide more details, please do.

anita