Hello Anita, a better term to search for these journals is “mixed media journals.”

So the Ugly Book contained all of my negative or unpleasant emotions and events. Such as intense grief and anger. For example my daughter had to go into a woman’s shelter with a 10 mth old baby to get away from her narcissistic partner who was the father of the baby and I helped her through this. So that is one example of my intense anger and grief that I journaled about in the Ugly Book. Using the ugly book was my way of being able to compartmentalize this event from the other art related pleasure or minor annoyances of my daily life from my daily art journals. Because I moved this summer across country I was downsizing all of my belongings and the ugly book had to be part of letting go of things In that process of downsizing my belongings. However I did have a hard time letting it go but instead of keeping the book I simply removed some of the pages I just could not let go of.

Interesting you were able to throw away your photos. I know how hard it is to feel like you have to smile to protect others from your sadness. But there were times for me when smiling and being with others who made me feel better was healing and a sort of stepping stone into more happy times. I also feel great loss from the dreams and hopes of my youth which never came to be.

Two days ago I learned that my son with disabilities most likely has testicular cancer. So I think I will name this new journal Ugly Book #2 while continuing with my daily art journals for my continued growth on this journey called life.

Anita is has been a pleasure being here and talking with you. I have new resources and inspiration to help me with my recovery from depression. I will carry on and find my new therapist ASAP, do some mindful art journaling from that website, read some articles on this site and some new books on mindful CBT while practising  my meditation and enjoy the simple things in life as much as possible.  Hugs and thanks again for your time and thoughts but I won’t return to this forum at this time.