Dear MissCat42:

It is possible that he will continue to use your (logical and sensible) decision regarding the property against you because it serves him to do that: he gets to send some pain your way every time he feels frustrated in life and it gives him a relief to do that. It is the hallmark of abuse: to spreads the pain around so to get a relief, however temporary.

If he continues to refer to the real estate (logical and sensible..!) decision that you made against you as he did most recently, then it is abuse. It is the kind of abuse that doesn’t involve bleeding or broken bones, or even cuss words, it involves a repeating poking of sorts, a small stab of sorts, once in a while when he feels the need to relieve himself a bit. It wears a person down to be at the receiving end of this slow, bit by bit kind of torture.

If I was you, I would make it very clear to him that he needs to immediately and completely stop this passive-aggressive kind of poking, blaming, those emotional little stabs. If you try “to be more patient” with him as he continues this slow pace abuse, then he gets more comfortable doing it and .. it is not good way for you to live!

anita