Dear MonaD:

You are welcome and thank you for being as gracious as you are. “I asked for his help… I was drowning in emotion and unable to function”. I couldn’t help see the parallel to what he told you: “I had to put both hands here on my brother’s rope to keep my brother from drowning”.

“this concept of ‘break’ grew into a monster in my mind, through my own fault”- I don’t like the word fault. The concept of a break and to pick things up later, if his brother’s situation resolves, if his feelings are the same.. that’s too much for anyone to endure, anyone who is very attached to the person suggesting the break.

It is not that the break he suggested was within a stable relationship where the two of you were living together, owning a home together, your practical lives intertwined, committed for a lifetime, and he left (his stuff, his car, his life still in your home) for a couple of weeks, or a month. All you had of him was the long distance communication, and he suggesting taking that away.

“This experience has taught me the importance of maintaining a life outside the relationship”- I hope you learn other things too, maximize your learning from this experience, learn all that you can learn.

I imagine you felt/ will be feeling relief, then sadness, anger, different emotions at different times, possibly regret and (undeserved) guilt, reignited hope perhaps, and so forth. Feel free to post here anytime you would like and I will be glad to reply to you if and when you do.

anita