Dear Sarah:

I want to elaborate on part of what Valora expressed so intelligently and eloquently:

Narcistic personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental disorder diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5, 2013). Only a health professional, such as a medical doctor or a certified psychotherapist is permitted by law to diagnose a patient with NPD or with any of the hundreds of mental diagnoses listed in the DSM-5, and such professionals have to meet with the patient in-person for a session or sessions so to come up with a diagnosis.

It is estimated (Wikipedia, based on the DSM-5) that 1% of the population fits the NPD diagnosis. Notice, only 1%.

Melody Wilding, an executive coach, licensed social worker nd professor of Human Behavior, stated it well: “As an executive coach and Human Behavior professor, I hear from readers every day who claim that they work with a narcissist. They complain about managers and colleagues who make their work life harder.. Psychologically speaking, narcissism is a personality trait that every person possesses to some degree. Like any characteristic, it exists on a spectrum. We all fall somewhere along the narcissism continuum… However, any personality trait taken to an extreme can become pathological. A person who is excessively high in narcissism is said to have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), which is a diagnosable mental illness. A person with narcissistic traits may be mildly self- centered at times, but NPD, on the other hand, is a deeply ingrained, pervasive pattern.. to the point where it interferes with normal functioning across a wide range of settings beyond work” (www. business insider. com/ narcissism vs narcissist).

If you look at the diagnostic criteria of the many mental disorders listed in the DSM, you will see that you fit part of the criteria for dozens and dozens of diagnoses, if not more. One way to look at it is that every diagnosis is a spectrum diagnosis and everyone is on that spectrum. In other words, everyone is a narcissist, just as everyone is bi-polar (has highs and lows), everyone is depressed (at times), everyone is dependent, etc. But it doesn’t mean that everyone fits the diagnosis of bi-polar disorder, and/ or major depressive disorder and/ or dependent personality disorder.

anita