I have often wondered why I began peeking to begin with, I was 10 years old I think. My mother were pretty cold and indifferent when I was little. That’s something I remember quite clearly. Could that be why I started peeking? I honestly don’t know. I don’t like to blame her for any of this, but I do admit I have thought along these lines before when I think about all of this.

That I didn’t think she loved me until I were 19 could be partly because of that, but I also have trouble reading emotions and I’ve had a bad sense of my self-worth for a very long time.