hi Anita,

I am sorry that i couldn’t be clear about examples, i will write down exactly what she said.

1. At the time that it happened, i was working at full time accountant job while she was a  phd student in microbiology. We occasianally meet during launch break, and it is a limited time(one hour, max one and half if you have important matters), Restaurant thing happened one time.  We usually did not planned our meetings during lunch, i said we dated 2-3 times but they were planned, one is a romantic diiner, other is a romantic movie and after talk, last one is a special weekend outside the town. Anyway, the restaurant is approximately 20 minutes away, and i have it on mind that i have a plan for that restaurant like a date and it didn’t mention her about it, i said her that i heard that restaurant too, but as you know we have limited time, i don’t want to waste it,  i would rather  talk with you, i mean is just a lunch. And she said why  you can’t let it flow the time,  dating is not planned something, time is not the matter here,  we don’t have to talk every time, spending time with you  sometimes pushes me into think that we trying hard to communicate,  not like natural.

2.) Movie scene was about friends  with couples, they  were talking about their each other’s dislikes. And i related that scene into us about our dislikes against each other and i said that i guess you have some dislikes against me. And  she said why always you think fictionary things, and as if  it would be real, and you behave accordingly. I just liked that scene, that’s it.

3.) I said about the toast; i think it was nice, i might also  eat it sometimes as a night sneak with a smile.And she said  why are you relating your pleasure to me, you don’t have to like my pleasures,  it’s just a toast, don’t impersonate me in your head. Today i like it, maybe tomarrow i don’t. everyone has own pleasure.

4. She said that she likes Rumi, who is a spiritual poet. I thought she likes a spiritual poet, i guess she have ideas to coincide with the poets’ ideas. And  i just quoted some Rumi idea that ” be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop”, I meant she has steadiness, and strong roots in life. She said  don’t judge my likes about rumi; to like a poet doesn’t mean i like him with all ideas he has. As if you all know about me,  you are trying to do same thing again(impersonating). I like or dislike. none of your business.

5. She said she fear dogs and she never tries to confront with that fear, i said what your fears about life, don’t you worried that you may not be ready when it finds you( i guess i mentioned that she doesn’t like planning, i thought she fears about being caught unready whatever lifes brings her door rhetorically). And she said  i guess i will find out it when it comes. After that, cold behaviors as if she means you did again.

these examples showed me now that she is right, maybe we didn’t match because of what you think of life,  back then, i didn’t think deeply i guess. Now, the feelings which eats me inside is that i may not find my soulmate.  omg