Dear Quirine:

Welcome back, and congratulations for having an amazing relationship 1.5 years and going!

You wrote: “What worries me a bit is that from time to time I feel that if we move in..”-

– May 2017, you wrote: “for me it’s impossible to be with the same person for more than 3 days.. even with my best friend can’t ..stand being for longer than 3 days”.

I  believe that it was so because living with your parents as a child was very distressing for you (May & July 2017): “I was raised with one friend and being afraid of the other.. hiding from one and being so open with the other… I can almost calculate or foresee (father’s) explosions of anger.. My mother was always there to intermediate and prevent any fight or argument”.

If you move in with your girlfriend, your distress will likely go up (even a 1.5 year long amazing relationship in adulthood does not delete a distressing childhood experience), so prepare for it by continuing to see your therapist if you still see her, or get a quality therapist to see during the first months living together with your girlfriend.

You are still hiding your sexual  orientation from your father, still scared of him. I thought your relationship with him was improving back in 2017, and it seemed at the time that you were about to tell him about your sexual orientation, but that didn’t happen… I wonder what is then  the nature of the improvement of your relationship with your father (?)

anita