Hi

I’ve just joined this forum, and your story struck a chord with me.

Let me share my experience and struggles: When I was 20-22 years old I was working in a very stressful job in the media, but I was actually really good at it and got promoted. I was invited to all the cool events, rubbed shoulders with “important” people – on the outside I had everything going for me. The problem was that people around me got super jealous, such as my colleagues and even some of my supposedly good friends and even family relatives. They would give me the icy shoulders and I knew that they gossiped about me when I wasn’t around. I wondered why people couldn’t be happy for me like how I would be happy for them.

I kept telling myself I was strong and to be patient and to continue to be a good person till one day… I had a complete mental/emotional breakdown. I didn’t even know at that time it was a “breakdown” all I knew is that I would walk home late at night after work and cry in the dark. I lost my appetite, I hardly ate. I lost so much weight… I went to a doctor to check if I had stomach ulcers preventing me from eating, but everything was fine physically. I honestly wished I’d just die. IT was the lowest point in my life.

I decided to “start fresh” by leaving my job, changing all my contact details and even shutting down my social media. Would you believe it, that I went from being an outgoing person, lively person and having over 600 FB friends, to having not even 1 friend? I didn’t even work for 2 years because I was just not ready to be “social” yet. Sure, some people did try to reach out to me, but I shunned them away telling them to just leave me alone. I took me YEARS to “recover”.

I’m now turning 32 and ready to be social again and make friends… which is hard actually. Most people have already developed long lasting relationships while I’ve only just begun trying to open up to some people around me at work, and I’m joining a walking group next weekend. I’m actually afraid that I’m not that good at being social anymore… you know what I mean?

I think I’ve got a pretty good personality and I communicate well surface level with customers which I have to deal with on a daily basis, but I too have become quite introverted and now I tend to get quite nervous in non-work social settings.

I wish I knew the answer to help you…and help myself too! 🙂

Sincerely

E.