Dear Alex:

You are welcome. I understand your hurt and guilt over breaking up with a woman who loved you so, causing her to hurt emotionally. But your “heart wasn’t in it anymore”, and you still don’t want her back, meaning, for whatever reason you didn’t want to be in a relationship with her anymore. You have the legal and ethical right to exit any relationship you don’t want to be in (exception: a parent regarding their minor age child, and other circumstances that require some arrangements made before the exiting).

It does not make sense for you to have continued the relationship against your own heart and mind. This kind of sacrifice would have been wrong for you (and for her).

It would have been more honorable if you broke up with her before asking another woman for a date. So make a mental note of it, so to not repeat this particular behavior. Punishing yourself like you do is useless. Learn what you can learn and change behaviors that need to be changes, and let go of the shame and guilt.

I hope she overcomes her hurt. I wonder if she attends psychotherapy so to help her recover, do you know?

(and did you consider attending therapy so to heal from the shame and guilt that you feel?)

anita