Dear kiwiboy0897:

“people at the gym would ask if they were together”-if Steve and your partner are both physically attractive young people, the two have been acting friendly toward each other, that is enough to make most people  wonder if the two have a sexual relationship in addition to the friendly one.

So your partner assertion that “it’s because they basically did everything there together” makes sense.

“Sometimes my imagination runs wild and wonders”- this is the downside of having an imagination, we can imagine painful scenarios anytime, anywhere.

The key sentence in what you shared, for me, is: “Steve has been completely cut off and no longer comes to the gym”. Also, your partner’s apology to you made a good impression on me.

Notice this: because you are not present with your partner 24/7, there is always the possibility that he is cheating on you with another person. That’s a possibility for every couple who doesn’t spend 24/7 with each other. There is a story that comes to my mind at the moment, I heard that my grandfather locked his wife, my grandmother, inside their home while he was out and about because he was so  jealous and was afraid that she will cheat  on him. That was a long time ago. I am not recommending it, of course. But my point is, unless you are always with your partner, making sure that he is with you even when you sleep, or that he is locked and isolated, you cannot make sure that he is not cheating on you. Same for  him: he cannot make sure you will not cheat on him.

There is a concept in U.S court of law when it comes to a jury convicting people of crimes. The concept came about because people doubt a whole lot. So we are looking for a reasonable doubt, not just any doubt. If your partner did cut any and all contact with Steve, if he tells new people in the gym who come in for training (like Steve did),  that he is in  a monogamous relationship with you (so to prevent the newcomers from developing a crush on their trainer/ your partner), and if he is not gone for hours at night, let’s say, going out to clubs without you, etc., then you don’t have a case of reasonable doubt.

There is no way for you to feel a permanent peace of mind on the issue any time soon. Once the idea got into your head and the imagination made it feel so real, it will probably keep distressing you once in  a while, like an itch that won’t stop itching. You have to accept that occasional itch, feel it, repeat reality to yourself (the points brought up here) and go about your day.

anita