Dear kiwiboy0897:

Regarding your earlier post: you are welcome, thank you for your appreciation and a virtual hug to you!

Regarding your recent post: what your partner told you regarding his attraction to Steve is consistent with what you shared that he told you in your original post. I didn’t notice any inconsistencies in what he has been telling you regarding his thoughts, feelings and behavior in regard to Steve.

But there needs to be a correction in what you wrote in your original post regarding your partner and you: “he is everything I ever hoped for in a man and he always says the same about me”-

-it is not true that you are everything that he hopes for in  a man: he wants a man who is more motivated than you are in the context of business (“would like it if I was as motivated as Steve”), and clearly, he is  not everything you hope for in a man, because you hope for a man who will be completely content with who you are, and not wish that you were like someone else in any way.

I don’t think this is or should be a deal breaker, but a time to understand better the True Story vs. Fiction that I mentioned to you in the last line of my post to you yesterday: you and him have been in a relationship for nine months, the two of you are young, in your twenties I am guessing (?), your partner has a  job and a training side job, you have a job and you are a full time student. Your partner dreams big regarding professional and financial success, he wants to build an empire!

“My boyfriend said, ‘I was just imagining what if you (me/kiwi..) was that motivated. We could build an empire.'”-

He loves you and he wants to build an empire. He believes Steve is ambitious, knowledgeable and capable in matters of empire building,  and therefore can help him to build an empire. One way your partner can make sense of this situation is to pay Steve for consultation, for advice and guidance- that will sit well with you, wouldn’t it (?)

But if Steve is very interested in your partner physically, then he is posing a threat to your relationship with your partner because your partner is very motivated to build an empire, and it is possible that your partner will compromise his preference of you and be with Steve instead.

Time to see if there is a meeting of the minds and hearts between you and your partner in regard to life goals and dreams:. I suggest the following exercise: you and him separately, list your own personal and professional goals and dreams in order of priority, from the most important to the least important. After the list, each one of you, still separately, write your plan how to achieve those goals and dreams, be as specific or as vague as you are about the plans.

After that part of the exercise, compare your lists and plans, and figure out if there is a way or ways for the two of you to work together for the purpose of satisfying your individual goals and dreams of the higher priority.

anita