Elle,

A fascinating string of entries here spanning multiple years.  Dealing with heartbreak, it seems, is timeless.  🙂  I’m somewhat embarrassed to say I found these entries exploring if my now ex-girlfriend would eventually regret expelling me from her life.

Triangle Sun probably summarized it best; my ex did what she thought was right at the time.  Life had gotten out of control for her (she had textbook symptoms of anxiety and depression) and had pulled back on all intimacy, had become irritable, was dealing with self-esteem issues and just couldn’t ever seem to get through her to do list.  I knew she was going through a lot and loved her unconditionally, but the guilt of not being able to reciprocate was just too much for her.  She had been through two horrible relationships and openly asked me why I treated her so well, so it really threw me for a loss when she ended things and then completely ghosted me.   Our one mutual friend commented she’ll look back some day and scream for kicking me out of her life.

Your last posts about time healing definitely caught my eye, because that is what it will take.  She’s been removed from my phone, her robe and all mementos were burned and all pics have been deleted, but erasing a lover from the mind and heart is no easy activity.  And, naturally, coronavirus quarantines do nothing to help move through the stages of grief.   Anyway, I take solace in your comment that it took you awhile to move on, because it definitely isn’t something that just happens overnight.

I do wonder, although I know it’s just wishful thinking, how I’ll react if she ever reaches out to rekindle things.  How would you handle things if your ex asked you to give things another try?