Dear Javairia:

I wish you didn’t delete your account here, so that I could review our previous conversations (at what month/ date approximately did we communicate last?)

“wouldn’t listening to someone vent out everyday be harmless”?-

-No, it is harmful because when you have a person in your life who “would vent out at any hour.. talk about his whole day.. tell anything and everything…overshared a lot and lot of information about him.. talking about (his) every single thing, every single day”, when you are his vent diary (“He even himself said.. ‘You’re my vent diary”), and his promise is to “not stop telling you everything”-  you are misused as a dumping ground for a never ending flow of information that is of no use for you.

Just like you wrote, it “means getting my space and values invaded”- your space is used as a dumping ground, so it is invaded by his dump.

“I start to live in the person.. lose myself.. constantly living (his) thoughts.. issues and problems”- you live in his dumping ground, with his things/life is everywhere, no space for your things/ your life.

I suggest that you tell him what you shared here on your thread, incorporate some of what I wrote in my reply to you. If he tells you in response that you are welcome to use him as your dumping ground too, maybe have equal time using each other that way, tell him you don’t want to, that you don’t have that need.

And hear/ read what he has to say, how he responds to what you tell him (and let me know, and if you need advice regarding his response, we’ll take it from there.

anita