Dear Javairia:

Yes, back in May of last year, you were 16 at the time. You shared that you saw your parents fight a lot, shouting and arguing. When you were 6, your mother attempted (or seemed to attempt) to commit suicide right in front of you; you were alone with her, when that happened.

Your father (who was never married to your mother) left the home when you were 9. He lives with another family now, and is not part of your life at all, other than talking to you on the phone strictly on financial matters; it has been your role to call your father on the phone every month regarding him paying for what you and your two older siblings need. You hate this role, it distresses you a whole lot, but your mother wouldn’t do it and your siblings won’t, so you are the one who ended up doing it. (One of your sibling does drugs and the other, you think poorly of.

You shared at the time that you took on another role, one of being a funny friend, always making jokes, the happy-go-lucky, kind of optimistic person, that you do enjoy your friends’ company and being the optimistic one, and that you don’t want to burden them with your troubles.

Ten months later, today, you shared that being courageous is something you “never really did.. never really bold, and don’t voice my points or needs”-

-time to change that, Javairia. If this guy does call you again to vent, tell him that you will not be his dumping ground again, that you want a conversation= a meaningful 2 way exchange of thoughts, a win-win exchange, one that works for both of you, not just .. for him.

Thank you for your apology. I accept it. Take good care of yourself!

anita