Sammy, again if you felt ashamed by my words I apologise. However I’m glad you recognised ending your life os not the way forward as you have the power to change it. That is what you should work on. Change the negative virus that infects your mind – all those negative thoughts which make you feel unworthy and have a positive attitude to believing by making wiser choices and decisions you will create a better version of life for yourself. Again have gratitude for what you have- focus your thoughts on that. This will have a ripple effect on your anxiety and life thus you will make more conscious well thought life choices.