Dear Javairia:

You are welcome. It makes sense that the reason he hasn’t burdened you recently with his need to vent is that “his way to reach  out to interact (with you) has gotten limited”- keep it limited then!

“I feel like a bad person to even admit I’ve been misused… why am I making this so hard and tiring for myself?”- I am guessing because you feel responsible for him, as if (and it is not!) it is your job to be there for him in any way he needs you to be. So if you are not there for him the way he needs you, you feel like a bad person.

As you know, you erased our previous communications, so I can’t go back and read about your childhood, but remembering that your mother attempted or seemed to attempt suicide in front of you, that’s a very, very distressing experience for a child. I imagine that you felt responsible for her suicide attempt/ the misery she experienced. I imagine that because children automatically feel responsible, aka guilty, for a parent’s expressed misery.

Fast forward, this guy expressed to you his misery, tells you that he needs you to relieve his misery, so you feel that it’s your job, and if you don’t perform this job, you are a bad person.

Makes sense?

anita