Dear Javairia:

That “‘bad person’ complex” that you mentioned, I suffered from it terribly myself for decades! I hope you don’t suffer from it for as long as I have. I will give you a current example for how bad..my bad person complex is (I like these three word term that you came up with): when I say to myself that I did not cause the current pandemic and its economical consequences- I feel  better. I feel better because it is my habit to automatically blame myself for negative events, small and big, that I do not cause!

Back to  you, you are not responsible for this man’s distress, for his suffering, you didn’t cause any of it. Therefore, it’s not your job to take away his suffering, or to provide a venting opportunity for him, so that he feels better at your expense!

“I will keep the interaction limited, and let’s see what happens in the starved interaction”- good plan. If he starts venting, interrupt him!

Regarding your offer to answer any questions I have regarding what you shared and erased, thank you. I appreciate it. I suggest that you share with me anything about your childhood and your current home life, if and as it feels relevant to you, regarding your current life situations. If I have questions in the future, I will ask you.

anita