Hi Anita,

If you want to share with me more about the relationship between your parents, please do. Share not how you interpret that relationship now, but what you saw/ heard/ felt about their relationship back then, when you were a child.

I kind of repressed a lot of memories to be honest and it is a bit hazy. I don’t think my mother ever realized how her relationship was affecting me. I didn’t know it was affecting me or how I really felt about. I knew I was sad and wanted to help but didn’t know how. I remember trying to tell her to stay strong and maybe fight back if she could. I knew one thing for sure that how she was being treated was wrong. I remember her always telling me it’s just problems between adults and to ignore what’s happening. I did as I was told and stayed in my own world. I did not have any playmates growing up. I did not get to have friends til I was in high school. My parents had this paranoia that I was going to get kidnapped every two seconds since we lived in a bad neighborhood. I studied hard and did not question much since I didn’t want to give them another reason to argue.

I remember my dad always being controlling over her whereabouts, who she spoke to, and who her friends her. He was always suspicious that she was seeing other men. Both my parents had to work at the time and my father would not like the fact that she was working. If she was late just 10-15 minutes coming home from work he would be very angry and call her to see where she was.

When I was 15 my mother got into a terrible accident and she could not work (even til this day she can’t work because her knee is severely injured) and he did not look after her. The responsibility at the time fell on me. I took care most of the legal matters and doctor’s visits. We do not have family nearby nor friends that could help out.

Now, that I think about it we only went to one family vacation and never again. We weren’t very fortunate and lived in a cramped one bedroom apartment til I graduated. I moved away shortly after and now I live with them (reliving the moments of childhood) because I can’t afford to live on my own for the time being (1 more year til I have my own place).

Oh, by the way I’m of South Asian decent and they are pretty traditional and hence why I can’t live with my boyfriend. My mother knows about my long term boyfriend but my father doesn’t. He’s extremely traditional. I could live in secret but I want to respect my parent’s values/traditions.

Also, I live in the East Coast 🙂 hello~

Thank you!

-Tee