Dear Anita,

In one hour from now, I will be turning 26 years old. It’s going to be my birthday!!! So, I took this opportunity to post my update as we discussed before.

My therapy is going very well! I’ve seen huge improvement. My therapist is very attentive and hands on with CBT. My OCD has “relaxed” up to 80%. The only times I get triggered is when I’m on my period or on my fertile day. And that’s not even half bad as it used to. I can now watch a movie, do meditation, cook, enjoy company without this hyperventilation going on in my brain. It’s super nice!

March 17th I was fired from my office due to financial strains and the outbreak of covid 19. AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER! At first, I was sceptical of how I would react and my parents were so worried I would spiral back to depression. But the opposite happened. I became happier, calmer and everyone says : Sofia is back. After consulting with my therapist, we came to the conclusion that my job was not only unfullfiling but also toxic and it not being my primary focus, it was eating from the background. I know it sound complicated but, it makes me feel good…

In my love life, well there’s none. But that’s ok. I truly think it’s not a big deal. My only concern is that I fear receiving a happy birthday text from my ex, but I know it won’t happen, which also makes me feel kinda disappointed. I focus on my therapy and what’s good for me. I’ve dealt with my “demons” but I still have to fight for my place in “heaven”.

Having OCD yourself, do you have any helpful tips on how to shoo that particular thought away? Even though it’s not overpowering, I’m still afraid it might get bigger as tomorrow approaches… I don’t want it to take control over my birthday.