Dear rainyhollow233:

My advice is that you write an essay on what you learned from your experience with your recent boyfriend and with the man with the .. shagging (new word to me, USA) interest in you. Prepare a first draft essay and share it here with me.

Just as a mother who beats her child up, makes it impossible for her child to learn, when you beat yourself up, you make it impossible for yourself to learn (from your recent experience).

So be gentle with yourself and write that essay, if you choose to, of course.

anita