Dear anonymous03:

I’m sending a big, warm hug to you from Greece. Know that you are not alone. We are sisters – in – pain. Not only you and me, but oh so many women and men with nothing but a blackened heart. I’m really sorry to have replied to you so late, I’m just not good with reading my emails soon…

I don’t know if you can read my topics and get a glimpse of my experience as you asked,but I’m also gonna give you the gist of it. I was in a one year relationship. It was my first one although I was 23 at the time. I was insecure as every inexperienced girl is so I bought all of his manipulation, of him lying, using me, ignoring me, belittling me in shuttle ways even gaslighting, which was detrimental to my mental health. I was a yes girl, a 1950’s wife to a man that would even pluck a flower from his garden to offer me, or even drive me safely home when I was sick with bronchitis in the middle of the cold winter… People around me started noticing his “abuse” and cold heart. What I was left with was an out of control non stop self blaming  guilt tripping, wanting to go back to him, back to the past and fix everything OCD day and night, excruciatingly for more than a year. I was living on auto pilot, I actually have huge memory gaps because of it and I’m still fighting it, though be it, I’m soooooo much more improved mentally. He basically made me out to be a crazy-for-no-reason- jealous girlfriend and I bought it.

He would never take me to parties, denied me to meet his family, hated my sister, restricted me on fb and flat out made me think I’m crazy when i was clearly seeing other girls where texting him. He fiercely denied to videochat with me during us being apart for more than a month, he wouldn’t let me stay at his place when I was in need of shelter and he would only see me twice a week. He would make me take 3 busses to get back home whilst owning a luxury car himself. When I would always be available, always cooking, doing HIS dishes, giving him full body massages every single week, buying him thoughtful gifts, comforting him, attending him when sick… He wouldn’t even see me when I was sick, or if it was raining even… And that’s just scratching the surface…

But all this time blaming me for everything, calling me jealous, saying he loved me  that I’m his first love,  he cried when I was cowardly confronting him… Even when I finally broke up with him, he continued to say he loved me but he didn’t want a future with me.He was furious saying HE didn’t want to break up. So, I mean… Listen, they have the way to trun the tables to save their own skin and inconvenience.

If there’s one thing I found out in  this little experience I have gained is that I DON’T WANT YOUR STUPID AFTERMATH TEARS AND LOVE. Period. Because you made me go through hell when I only gave you paradise. Know this- yes, you are not a perfect girlfriend, yes life and relationships can have bad moments and it’s not only heaven. And it’s natural, sometimes people break up because not all things can be worked out. But in your case the way he CHOSE to exit, knowing he would scar you is because he didn’t care. He doesn’t care. About you that is. Becasue the aftermath clearly states he care only for himself…

You can’t just reconnect with someone after nine month, or even three months and mess with their emotional stability and new life. When you’re in love deeply, you either won’t let this person go, or you will let them go with respect.

But ok, let’s say it was a bad moment he had there and he was an a$$ by accident. The next day he should have apologized or even within a month he would have reached out, either to get back together or make amends. You are no less than a big part of his life and if he treated you like an available 24/7 walmart, that’s tells yoy hoe much he values his life in general. I would advice you not to buy into anything he says. Not out of spite, but out of pure men logic. Please, if you feel comfortable tell me exactly what you say to yourself about this, as in the obssessive thoughts in your head.

I’m sorry for the long reply. I hope you post again!