Hi Anita, thank you for your reply. I did try to force myself to not care because he does deserve to live his life. And I have been angry at him before. I don’t know how this experience would be different from the others. I kept having theories as to why my feelings may have changed but I wasn’t sure. I wondered if I am subconsciously insecure and it comes out in this neediness I thought I wasn’t getting (even though we have spent several days/weeks apart in the past and I was fine). However, I had so much love I wanted to give him out of my own will, I loved seeing him happy and it was a good flow of feelings, like if he was happy he would be so lovely and affectionate and it was a good feeling overall. To this day I still have so much love for him, but now I don’t have that urge nor do I feel that content/happy feelings I used to have from just having him near or him doing his work on his computer away from me. We still meet up as friends (in a way he is my best friend) and sometimes we cuddle but those intrusive thoughts “why did you lose feelings? Why did you stop feeling happy? Why aren’t I feeling that little giddy subtle joy like before? Why does this moment feel empty?” These thoughts and feelings don’t even let me enjoy the ‘in the moment’. I know I’m desperate to get to my feelings back but I am also trying to at least look forward and focus on the now.

So, to summarize, I do think I tried to give off the ‘I don’t care, I’m not bothered’ impression but in reality, I was thinking about it and was slightly bothered by it. I just don’t think this anger could be a reason for me to suddenly stop the feelings I had for him because I’ve had slightly similar experiences at the beginning of the relationship and was OK (guaranteed, we weren’t spending that much time together in the beginning and I wasn’t as in love). Also, disappointment and anger is experienced at some point in all relationships, no?

I may also be young and naive; this is my first relationship so I don’t have experience or knowledge of this. So all experience/advice is appreciated.